I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
