it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize