note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
