At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
