I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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