He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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