How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
