Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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