I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize