You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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