you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
