just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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