Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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