Why are handjobs necessary in class?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize