he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
