walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize