barbara walters just said penis...
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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