I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
