Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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