Your mouth is God's brothel.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Sorry about my life...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
