I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
