If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
