it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
