Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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