Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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