No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
