Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
there was a trapeze. enough said
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
