Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
