i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
