How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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