ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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