I just made out with a guy for $7.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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