Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Damn victory sex feels great
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