What did we do last night that was yellow?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
you had me at cake vodka
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Randomize