quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
