I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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