direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
