The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
