i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
