What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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