yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
