So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
