I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
