How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
ok first of all what the fuck
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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