oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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