I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
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