and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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