i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
