I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize