I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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