we're chasing vodka with high fives
You smell like stripper and shame
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
