So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Are we still banned from the library?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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