we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
