no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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