You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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