just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
