she woke up with a sticky ear
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
