your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
