I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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